Not What I Was Expecting (And Ready To Die Like Flynn Rider)
So Kenny Omega debuted a new entrance song at Wrestle Dynasty...
I grew up in America and, thanks to moving around some and America just being so damn big, I have spent a fair amount of my life traveling to and fro as a passenger in a car. These trips always involved listening to the radio to help pass the time, and by time I am talking anywhere between 2 to 12 hours depending on the destination.
When you were near any decently-sized city, finding something to listen to was never an issue. You would probably at least have an oldies station, a classic rock station, and a station claiming to play “today’s hottest music hits” to choose from. However, there are long stretches of the American highway system and countless back roads where no FM signal can reach*. If I close my eyes and let my mind drift a bit I can hear the crackle of static from the speakers as I see desolate exits off the Pennsylvania Turnpike passing by me out the window while my mom turns the radio dial, can feel the ups and downs of the car making its way through the mountains of West Virginia as the search feature fails to pick up a single station when the only buildings we have passed in the last few hours look straight out of Lovecraft Country.
Out of this all-encompassing silence, what would seem like a blessed reprieve would sometimes ring in my ears. Through the *crshk shrt ziirt* would come the faint strum of a guitar or the rhythmic pounding of drums. As the car sped further on, a melody would become apparent and a heady voice would begin to clip in and out with increasing clarity. Finally, we would reach a mountain peak or stretch of flat land where the car could pick up the station properly, music would once again fill the vehicle, and the trip would become just a little more cheery.
... and then, after a minute or so more of listening, we would realize we picked up some weird Christian music station where every song seems like a wannabe ‘80s power ballad and toes the line between worshiping the Lord and implying that the singer has known, or would like to know, Jesus Christ carnally. Everyone in the car groans and whoever is in charge of the radio begins again the process of trying to find a station with actual music to listen to again.
Hearing Kenny Omega’s new entrance music at Wrestle Dynasty gave me an out of body experience. It sent me directly from my chair in the Tokyo Dome to the passenger’s seat of my mom’s car, grimacing as yet another throaty vocalist creepily croons on about how their faith is just the gosh darned best thing ever.
It was not a great experience. 0 stars. Would not recommend.
I think Kenny set my expectations way too high with his description of the song and who was involved in making it in his Wrestle Dynasty promos. I was expecting something on the level of “One Winged Angel” and this was not it. Is it a bad song? I honestly can’t say. Probably not, and most of the reviews I’ve glanced through on the internet seem to love it. For me, however, my feelings about it will forever be influenced by the déjà vu of being underwhelmed and disappointed when I heard it, just as I was on the road when the reality would sink in of what exactly we were listening to. Fortunately I have enough classic jrpg music on my phone that I can just pop in my earbuds the next time he comes out for a match, and that way we can both be happy.
*AM radio stations you could pick up most anywhere (you are pretty much cut off from civilization if you can’t get at least one), but the radio was supposed to help you stay awake, focused, and/or entertained on trips like this. AM radio programs are more likely to put you to sleep (maybe good for the passengers, but not the driver) or enrage you and thus were not an option.
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