That Hair's Not Bad, It's Evil!

Seeing the many images and clips of John Cena's heel turn at Elimination Chamber made the gears start whirring in my brain and, fortunately, it was only a short amount of time before the proper synapses fired and the connection was made. 

"The Simpsons," season 10, episode 4, "Treehouse of Horror IX." Specifically, the first segment, titled "Hell Toupee." The story revolves around Homer getting a hair transplant that is possessed by Snake, a criminal who was executed and vowed revenge on the witnesses to his last crime.

Honestly, worse hair had done worse things.

For someone who had a buzz cut for most of his career, John Cena's return to WWE with a bit more on top was definitely a conversation point (and instigated rumors of a hair transplant apparently, as I learned when I searched for pictures). The hair change didn't strike me as that big of a deal at first because I have seen enough of him in trailers for movies that it was nothing new. But the heel turn changed all that. It is now the official position of this blog, and will be until it is conclusively demonstrated otherwise, that John Cena's new hairstyle is the cause of his heel turn. Compare:

 

Can you see it? Cena's locks are not as high or as thick as Homer/Snake's, but a little gel and creative styling could absolutely fix that. That hair made him hurt Cody Rhodes. Not pride, not ego, not the increasing sense of horror at realizing that his time is no longer now; it was all the hair. And if Cena's going to be bad, he should go all in. His hair and his actions at Elimination Chamber should be just the beginning.






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