Pro-Wrestling On My Mind

Note: Post is only tangentially related to wrestling today. I am not a fan of horror. I think real life is scary enough as it is, so I have never understood why people want to scare themselves via entertainment. I especially don't like jump scares, so horror movies and games are generally a big no for me. Fortunately, pro-wrestling has never been too terrifying. I always liked the Undertaker, so he never freaked me out, and his storylines with Kane, while creepy, never got too far into the realm of horrifying for me (grossed me out some, but never scared me). Had I been a child when they debuted, I might have found the Wyatt Family scary, but I was already in grad school when they first showed up. While I am not a fan of horror, I am a fan of good storytelling, a necessary element of good pro-wrestling. As such, I am willing to step outside my comfort zone of non-horror entertainment if I think there is a worthy story to experience, like when I read Dracula  as a kid (slept with a ...

I've been MIA recently, but with good reason. I'm on Spring Break! The school year has ended in Japan, so I have about 1.5 to 2 weeks off waiting for it to start again. And yes, one might think that would mean I would have more time for writing. However, I have a rather large backlog of games I need to play, and that has been taking up all my waking moments. Just yesterday I completed Insomniac's "Spiderman 2," which was fantastic. This game continued the great storytelling and characterization from the previous two entries in the series, improved combat and sidequests, and made swinging (and flying!) around NYC even more fun. There are also, of course, lots of references to Spiderman's expansive history. This is one of my favorites that I came across: The Masked Challenger Gaze with Miles at this lovely lucha libre mural. Spiderman's origin is directly tied to pro-wrestling, and I was glad to see the game giving multiple nods to the fact.

"The mistaken use of one word in place of a similar sounding one, often with an amusing effect." This is the Oxford English Dictionary 's definition of a malapropism. What it fails to mention is that said amusing effect could potentially cost you your job (or at least get you a severe reprimand) depending on what sort of slip of the tongue you make in what profession. As a teacher of English as a second language to young kids, malapropisms are a very realistic and dangerous aspect of my career as I can (sometimes intentionally, but mostly unintentionally) make highly inappropriate mistakes in multiple languages. Fortunately, I have managed to go over a decade without a career-ending worthy slip (that anyone heard), but there was one particular period where I had to be VERY careful because of an unexpected threat from the combination of a catchy song and my love of pro-wrestling.  It was the spring of 2018 when the movie "Coco" was released in Japan (though here ...

One of the most interesting parts of my re-watch of "Lucha Underground" has been catching references. I had not yet started watching NJPW while "Lucha Underground" was airing, so occasional mentions by commentary to New Japan wrestlers meant nothing to me. During this re-watch, however, I have more than once quoted Captain America because "I understood that reference!"  This reminded me, though, of the case of one New Japan wrestler I was aware of before I became a fan, and how that knowledge came from an unexpected source. I like browsing the shelves at a store in Tokyo that has many books in English I often come across some fascinating titles. Back a dozen or so many years ago, the following book caught my eye: In "Lovesick Japan," author Mark D. West looks at court cases and legal decisions to analyze how love, romance, and all its complications are viewed and dealt with in Japanese society, both generally and in the judicial system. One incid...

My heart briefly soared and then dropped back down with a dull thud at the end of the J4G vs. War Dogs match at the New Japan Cup final. When commentary started to get excited about a run-in to aid J4G, my mind immediately went "DOUKI?!" even though I knew it wasn't really realistic. Turns out it was members of Hontai, which makes sense after Tanahashi's post-match overture on 3/17. Tana offered the handshake of alliance/peace after chasing off the War Dogs and it seems like J4G are now a part of Hontai.  I can only assume this means Taka sold his backlog of J4G shirts. Tag Team Partner and I were talking about Tanahashi's initial offer to J4G and he wondered if New Japan is in line for a major stable reset. With Bullet Club fracturing, Hontai getting kind of bloated now that it officially includes Chaos and J4G, and even hints (at least in English commentary) of issues in United Empire regarding leadership, it seems like a possibility. Even LIJ has had a change, ...

Watching the New Japan Cup final, I realized something during Great-O-Khan & TJP's entrance.  If I tried to move any part of my body in the same way he twists and turns his hand, I'd probably end up in the hospital.   The next time there is an Addams Family live action project, O-Khan needs to fire his agent if they do not get him the part of Thing. He's demonstrated again and again that he would be perfect for the part. Although, I never have seen him snap. I'll be sure to ask him if he can if I ever get a photo opp chance with him. He needs a United Empire wristband. Or maybe a miniature towel.

Never thought I would have much in common with EVIL (except a love of Iyo Sky), but the New Japan Cup proved me wrong. GET OUTTA MY FACE! This may look like EVIL is posing majestically with a timely breeze adding to the scene by dramatically blowing his hair. What is actually happening, however, is EVIL is locking in a submission hold while some of his hair is sticking to his face and he can't move it because his hands are otherwise occupied. Thus, he is attempting, and failing, at the age old remedy of blowing it out of the way with his breath. Ugh, the number of times I have been in a similar situation, especially in the sticky and humid Japanese summers. Or when a hair has become weirdly positioned because of my glasses and I cannot figure out how to move it. So I huff and puff like an imitation of the Big Bad Wolf and hope my own damn hair will stop annoying me and fall back into place, but alas, it does not and I am forced to stop whatever I am doing so I can free my hands and...

Was ELP actually eating oranges while on commentary at the 3/15 show in Osaka? If so, does anyone have pictures? I want "ELP eating oranges" to be my personal "Bitch eating crackers."  

Catching up on New Japan Cup action today as I was able to work from home. I am on the 3/11 show now and I had to step away from my laptop because the timer went off for my spaghetti cooking. Before I left, only Walker Stewart was on commentary. When I came back, I became extremely confused. I thought Walker was doing a pirate impression, or perhaps an actual pirate had, for some reason, joined him on commentary. Turns out, that's just what Drilla Moloney sounds like. Fun fact to learn. For real (these are my dogs)* though, if someone told me he was related to the guy who sings the SpongeBob, I'd be inclined to believe them. On the topic of the New Japan Cup, I've noticed Naito reaching out to little kids to do a fist touch when he's heading to the back recently. It's adorable, but when did that start? I didn't think Naito was child friendly, or even people friendly for that matter. Is this what happens when you tag team with an actual ray of sunshine? And bless...

-Congrats to Hiromu Takahashi for having the dubious distinction of being involved in the only pro-wrestling match I have ever seen that made me feel physically ill just from watching it. -Hiromu has a thing for people who spit water, huh? Or just spit. -Were the rain jackets provided to attendees or were they asked to bring them? -I'm pretty sure at least one person involved in the planning of this event is part of a fetish community and their goal was to make sure all of their friends kinks were seen in some form during this show. -I never thought I could hate mayonnaise more than I already do. I was so very,  very  wrong. -The fan who took a bite of that bread... I'm not sure if Hiromu thought he was a real one or was horrified that someone actually did it. Probably both. Either way, said fan should probably see a doctor for a tetanus booster or something. -I love that Honma's socks are the same color as his boots.    -John Cena's in GLEAT?! -The audience had to s...

I love art in all its mediums. Paintings, drawings, sculptures, photographs, anything that captures and conveys emotion and beauty. One of the things I miss most about being a student in Tokyo is that my student ID got me into many museums either free or at a great discount. I don't get to go to as many exhibits as I used to since I am no longer a student and I miss it (and believe me, I have reconsidered going back to school in part to get that access again). Perhaps that is why it is one of my dreams, if I ever get obscenely wealthy, is to have two galleries. One would be in my home for me to enjoy and one would be a room or building I donate so that everyone can enjoy some art. For my own gallery, I already know at least one piece I would want adorning the walls. I fell in love with this image the moment I saw it. It's a Renaissance painting transported to the social media era. There is so much going on here to dissect. The location, the perspective, the positioning. Was thi...

So Sanada debuted another homemade shirt in his losing effort against Yuya Uemura in the first round of this year's New Japan Cup.  That red font is giving major Disney vibes. Cold Skull better watch it or the Mouse might Skull End him in court. Can't Paradise Lock your way out of a copyright lawsuit. At this point I think we can safely assume what Sanada's favorite English swear word is. And speaking of Japanese pro-wrestlers who definitely have a favorite English swear word, Okada recently released a new shirt via Pro Wrestling Tees. Now, as I like to say to my students, It's quiz time! Who remembers the analogies section of the SAT? If you have no idea what I am talking about, congratulations on not having to go through high school in America or for taking the SAT in 2005 or after (and, if it's the latter, get the hell off my lawn you young whippersnapper). The analogies section gave you a pair of words that were somehow related and you had to pick a correspondin...

 I was scrolling Instagram and came across this post from Minoru Suzuki: After freaking out for about a solid minute, because how can you not freak out over something so amazing, I went to the Sendai Girls official site to see if there were any tickets left.  THERE WERE! Obviously I bought one. I've got the best plans in the world for the evening of April 3rd! In related news, I entered the fan club draw for three of the BOSJ shows this year, and Tag Team Partner entered for another three (including the final), so wish us luck!

Confession: Today's title is a lie. A double lie, actually, because 1)  I actually learned two things and 2) I learned both of those things yesterday. However, I learned both of these things too close to bedtime, so writing about them happens today. That, and I can rarely resist a reference. So what did I learn? First, I learned that I need to ruminate more. Or perhaps I learned that I should not trust my first instinct. The result of the main event of New Japan's anniversary show last night was that Goto beat Tanahashi to retain the title. Based on what I wrote yesterday about my reconsideration of my initial thoughts on the match, it makes sense. Also, Tag Team Partner watched the match and said he doesn't think Tanahashi's knees are capable of another title run. Sad to hear, and it also puts the kibosh on my thoughts about Tana having a G1 run, though I thought that was a pretty unlikely scenario. On the plus side, maybe I am not as bad at predicting NJPW outcomes as...

Ask me how many times today I've watched a clip of John Cena turning heel where the audio had been replaced with Celine Dion's "My Heart Will Go On." Go on, ask. Ok, trick order because I've watched it so many times that I can't remember anymore. Some not so great stuff happened today, so I really needed a laugh. To refer back to the title, the John Cena heel turn was absolutely worth the wait because the memes are DELIVERING! This all went down on Sunday and I am still seeing a bunch of new ones every day. The wrestling community is really coming together on this one and producing ample amounts of hilarity.  The rest of the world may be burning, but I hope John Cena's retirement tour continues to be the gift that keeps on giving humor and memes.  ...Please universe? We kinda need this*.  *Well, except R-Truth. He clearly needed anything but  this. Someone hook that poor man up with a therapist or something.

First off, happy anniversary New Japan Pro-Wrestling!  If you didn't already know, t oday is New Japan’s anniversary event, being held at the Ota City Gymnasium. It’s an interesting match lineup, with ELP facing a mystery opponent, the Bullet Club fracture being battled out in the 4th match (another post on that strife is coming soon), El Desperado’s 3rd title defense this reign (the match I am most interested in), and, in what is a pretty darn big deal, the main event is possibly Hiroshi Tanahashi’s last chance at capturing the IWGP heavyweight title before he retires. Tanahashi’s challenging Goto is the match that has given me the most food for thought. I am pretty bad about guessing how matches and storylines will play out in NJPW (either that or, as a more fun theory, Gedo can read my mind and always decides “Yeah I’m definitely doing the opposite of what that fool thinks ” ). My initial idea on learning about this match was that Goto is a placeholder champion, that he is defin...

Ah, the Young Lions. Such precious babies. And, more importantly, such  good boys. Trained so well. I was reminded of this at Fantastica Mania last Friday during the 4th match. It was El Desperado, Neon, and Templario vs. Los Depredadores (Volador Jr., Rugido, and Magnus). Towards the end of the match, Los Depredadores, being the bad guys, decided to start taking the masks off the other team. Of course, if you know anything about lucha libre, you know that the masks are sacred and this action is, to put it simply, a very big no-no. Of course the Young Lions are trained in how to wrestle, but they are also trained in the culture  of wrestling, so they know the importance of masks. They are also always on duty during matches to do whatever needs to be done, from collecting discarded gear, supplying cold compresses, and (attempting) to break things up when a match gets out of control. In this match, from the SECOND it looked like someone's mask was coming off, every single Young ...

The synapses were firing again on Friday during Fantastica Mania. When the fourth match entrances started and Los Depredadores came out, I was looking at Volador Jr. and thinking "Who does he remind me of...?" It hit me as we were waiting for the match to start while the referee was checking the wrestlers. Dear Reader, do you see it? Or have I completely lost my mind (or maybe my eyes are just that much worse (they are already super not great) and I need to visit the optometrist)?   

Seeing the many images and clips of John Cena's heel turn at Elimination Chamber made the gears start whirring in my brain and, fortunately, it was only a short amount of time before the proper synapses fired and the connection was made.  "The Simpsons," season 10, episode 4, "Treehouse of Horror IX." Specifically, the first segment, titled "Hell Toupee." The story revolves around Homer getting a hair transplant that is possessed by Snake, a criminal who was executed and vowed revenge on the witnesses to his last crime. Honestly, worse hair had done worse things. For someone who had a buzz cut for most of his career, John Cena's return to WWE with a bit more on top was definitely a conversation point (and instigated rumors of a hair transplant apparently, as I learned when I searched for pictures). The hair change didn't strike me as that big of a deal at first because I have seen enough of him in trailers for movies that it was nothing new. Bu...

It was almost 70 degrees and sunny in Tokyo yesterday. Today it was 32 degrees and snowing.* I think we know who to blame for that. "IT'S JOHN CENA!" Do-do-do-do.* I knew it was going to be cold today, but was not expecting the snow. I should have though because, as I was doing my usual updates scroll on various sites as I ate breakfast, the biggest news everywhere in the wrestling world was that John Cena finally (FINALLY) turned heel. I'm definitely not as emotionally invested in this event as a lot of people. A lot of Cena's reign at the top of the WWE hierarchy came when I was not regularly watching pro-wrestling (but I was keeping up with what was happening via various news sites and knew of the growing frustration with "Super Cena" expressed by a portion of the fandom). So I absolutely recognize the significance of this event, and I know that literally everyone (and I am not being facetious when I use the word "literally") over a certain ...

  Look at these cute little punks. They seem so sweet and innocent, don't they? Well, they are NOT. These LIARS want you to believe that it is March. There is no way in hell it is March; it's barely half way through February. I don't know what weird game they are trying to play with these falsehoods, but they should be ashamed of themselves. Pretending it's March when it is clearly not is NOT punk.

Someone was very excited to be playing with his friends from Mexico last night. So much so that he got a case of the zoomies. Hiro- Kamaitachi burst out from the entrance curtain, ran around the ring, up into the north section stands, came back down to finish circling the ring, ran up into the south stands, then finally made it to the ring apron, where he clapped in exhaustion. Anyone who has owned a cat and been awakened by a crash or other loud noise in the early morning hours has probably seen a similar scene.   After wearing himself out, he did what my cats typically do, lie down for a nap and ignore everyone else. However, during this brief respite, the inner golden retriever made an appearance. Sleepy kicks * My cocker spaniel used to move her legs like that when she was having a particularly intense dream or getting really good belly rubs. I can't express enough how much I adore this absolutely lovely weirdo of a human being. It would be a far better world if we could all li...